chad's definition of reality tv

reality is....

staying one step ahead of the film crew during the morning set-up
ritual is a key factor to maintaining my serenity and not acting out
'agro-trantrums'. during the first round of filming three or four
weeks ago i had one particularly rough afternoon punctuated with
air-borne belt-sanders attacking the sound man's 'gig-bag' and a
disgruntled tool cabinet vomiting drawers necessitating an unwelcome,
untimely, un-heeded, quarantine of that portion of the shop pending
re-unification of drawers and contents…..

probably played well on tape ….

(a point of info for adults of the 'ain't-gonna-watch-no-fool-tv' persussion:

contrived conflict / intra-group tension is the connective tissue
binding the (often painfully thin) narrative (which has supplanted
'plot' – in many cases) in the increasingly popular television genre
known as 'reality tv.'

in this context, 'reality' does not mean 'real' per se. it simply
means that the 'actors' aren't (professional) actors; they are
non-actors acting the role of a character who, coincidentally, has the
same name and profession as the non-actor. a real, professional (but
invisible) camera-man chases the non-actor around with a real
(exspensive) professional (invisible) camera as the non-actor goes
about doing whatever it is the non-actor imagines their
'character-selves' ought to be doing at that particular moment. the
non-actor doesn't need to know doodly-squat about non-acting. all
he/she needs to do is act as if they aren't really being followed
around by an invisible camera attached to an invisible (but real)
professional camera man. sounds difficult, but actually quite easy.
second 'takes' (do-overs, if you will,) are rarely necessary;
meticulus research, relaxed schedules, non-scripted scripting scripted
by non-screen writers and a healthy dose of audience participation
(not to be confused with revenue participation, but thats another
topic) in the form of willful suspension of (dis?)belief all
contribute to a casual environment highly conducive to perfect
non-performances from the non-actors. by pretending not to be doing
what they actually aren't really doing (acting as if they aren't
acting,) and using a special setting on the camera, a well directed
non-actor's obvious efforts to pretend their not acting is
imperceptable to the electronics of invisible 3- chip cameras,
resulting in a high quality television products enjoyable by executive
producers everywhere.)

or so i'm told